Being a single mom to a newborn is one of the scariest things on earth. But it doesn’t have to be. I have guided many single parents into becoming the best moms in the world. You too can be the best single mom you have ever known. Every mother has natural survival skills and that includes you.
You should know that you will successfully raise your baby without the need to stress over getting a partner.
First. You’ll be alright. You are capable of completing this.
Whether you have a partner or not, I am aware that giving birth, especially your first, is a horrible event. Even the most intelligent among us find it difficult to comprehend pregnancy, parenthood, and the glorious, scary events that unfold later on.
Getting support while Being a single mom to a newborn
Regardless of the nation or state you are in, there are numerous services (food, support-physical and mental) that are available, and many of them are far simpler to get than they initially appear.
Additionally, even if it could be challenging, you might need to assess your current parenting skills in relation to your child. If you’re determined to raise the child, make sure your entire existence is aware of it. Despite their unfavorable reputation, Child Protective Services can assist if you need temporary assistance. You can contact social workers, and they are typically excellent people.
You Matter A Lot as a single mom
Your physical and mental well-being must come first, or at the very least, not at the expense of the child. Thus, both you and your child suffer. Anyone who tells you that your life must be one of sacrifice is lying to you, and it will be to neither your benefit nor the child’s.
As frightening as the online community can be, it is a reflection of the world as a whole. There are fearful, critical shrills, but there are also those of us that are here for you even though we don’t know you.
Keep going, love.
Moms, it’s acceptable to refuse guests. Amazing, huh?
For those in the back, let me say it again: it is okay to turn away visitors.
We are frequently told as parents—especially single parents—how crucial it is to “accept aid” and “have a village.” Both of those things are crucial, yes.
However, not all visitors are beneficial. Not all visitors respect your good intentions. In fact, some visits will actually increase your burden. No further labor is necessary for me. Turning away visitors is appropriate. Don’t feel bad if you don’t immediately welcome guests and germs into your home.
Learn to use the word NO, which is such a filthy word. Or really, is it? One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself was to learn how to say no.
Benefits of saying no
My previous level of selflessness hurt. I gave freely of my time, money, and affection and had nothing left over for myself. If you are familiar with me outside of the “blogger world,” you are aware that I was formerly a true people-pleaser. Well, no longer, buddy.
Saying “no” also prevented me from feeling overburdened while I was a new mother. It really helped me control my stress levels to pick and choose which extra obligations to accept as opposed to accepting every responsibility that was “given” to me.
No, I’m unable to come to your event. No, I am unable to assist you with filling out the paperwork. You are not permitted to visit today. I’m afraid I’m unable to organize the PTA function this week. Not at all!
By declining, I was able to spend more time with my daughters, feel better about my messy home, and feel less stressed about not being able to get things done on time.
Learning to say no actually made my relationship with my elder daughter better. Yes, I still encounter some resistance when I say “no,” but over time, it has helped establish boundaries.
When a single mother is responsible for numerous children, boundaries are more important.
Self-care is important for single moms with newborns
It’s much simpler to say than to do, isn’t it? I have a lot of trouble with this. In fact, it ranks among my top “goals” for this year. I’ve been amazing at ignoring my needs for a very long time. But what’s this?
This has had a significant negative impact on both my daughters and me. My mood is seriously affected when I feel as though I’ve lost my identity.
Mama, you’ve got to look after yourself. You don’t need to go on dates or have a girls’ night out right away if you are taking care of yourself.
You can decide to get some more personal time by taking longer showers than you usually take. Or it could be something as simple as hiring a babysitter while you get a manicure. You could also hit the gym during this time. Visiting a shopping mall is not out of the question; who doesn’t love shopping?
A community for being a single mom to a newborn
As a part-time introvert, it is sometimes hard to build a community.
So I understand if a single mom has the instinct to try to do everything on her own but I know this is never healthy.
With my first baby, I had trouble letting go of some control because I am a control freak. In the end, I realized that it is so comforting to let a friend or relative help you watch the baby while you cook or do laundry.
Trust me, the whole process will feel easier if you have people who you can rely on.
Joining a community of other single moms can also make you feel like you are not alone.
Lastly, if you are a single father or mother looking for a general article on single parenthood, we have a piece written for you too.